Pee Day Ramble

Today was Pee Day. My dog christened it by peeing all over the back porch stairs (that don't get rained on so I had to clean them on my hands and knees, which was just awesome for my dizzy bullshit). I then spent the day peeing into a jug and cleaning my hellaciously messy life and feeling like crap and sleeping. It started raining this evening, so that may have contributed to why I felt so awful all day, but it made cleaning the house harder. Still, I almost completely unearthed the futon in my office/spare bedroom/world's biggest closet; I just have to figure out what I'm doing with all of the alphabet blocks still spread out in order across the bedspread. Then there's the rest of the room, which is coming along (I found a good chunk of the floor) but remains more closet than living space. We're having a condo-wide yard sale on the 29th and it would be so much more convenient if it were, say, last weekend and all the extra shit in my life already disappeared, replaced by money, but no such luck. Instead, I have to try to clean with the sale in mind, organizing things enough that next week is somewhat easier and I don't spend the entire time trying to re-sort everything all over again.

I looked up the weather for the wedding and it's going to be a high of 60 degrees. This means I have to figure out my coat options, which should be no big deal but at the moment feels like one. more. thing. I'm way too nervous about this wedding, or, more accurately, seeing people at this wedding. I don't know how I'm going to get along with the people I haven't spoken to in years who were once my closest friends, and it terrifies me. They used to mean so much and I'm not sure how to take our relationships, past or present, and I'm trying to be as optimistic about it as possible but now that I can't just get shitfaced and have everyone declare everything happy and fine (since I still can't drink) I'm not sure anymore how I most hope things will turn out (a sober mutual declaration of "All is forgiven, all bad is forgotten, we're cool" is a hell of a lot harder and less socially acceptable somehow), I'm not sure what the best possible outcome would be. Without knowing what to wish for, I have trouble calming myself down with optimistic happy thoughts. But the wedding itself should be my happy thought. My friend who's getting married deserves to be happy so. much. And I'm now driving up with Birdie, which means two hours of quality Birdie time I didn't think I'd have. That's a big happy thought. I'm just being Captain Negativity and dwelling on the parts that have me freaked out. I just don't know what people will think when they see me 20 lbs heavier, the only one single, and half-broken by migraines with some new weird malady that's got me peeing in jugs. At least I haven't lost my sense of humor. Or my depression. I had that when I knew them, and they loved me then. I have lost the chip on my shoulder, but I think I could use it right about now because it was a nice protective coating. Still, I have to remember that it's not like this weekend is about me anyway and everybody will be coming with their own shit, too. Maybe we're all fat now. Is it terrible that I kind of hope The Former Boy is fat? I do. I really do.

Enough rambling about that.

It's a little funny that I'm going to a wedding considering I spent Friday wanting to jump a married man. We're friends and we have a really fantastic time together, but he's married so my crushing is useless. Why do I torture myself?

Lump from dog's butt is benign. Lump in my soul rejoices.

I gave the now married couple their wedding pictures via flash drive they brought. They gave me a really nice thank you card and were extremely happy.

It's members' night. Museum of Science and Industry. I want to go. I don't want to go. They have the new Harry Potter movie in IMAX and my head is already iffy and there's no way I could survive that. I like all the other stuff, and it will probably be less busy everywhere else as a result, but like I said, the head is iffy. And I don't have a "date." I know if I pushed I could find someone to go with me, but it's almost 6 PM already and I'm not so sure I want to push. Just can it at this point. Take it easy, eat an actual dinner, do something that I enjoy that won't make tomorrow useless.

Waiting for Nemo

I took over 300 photos today at a stranger's wedding.

Neighbor Guy asked me last weekend if I wanted to be his date to this wedding he was invited to on a boat on Lake Michigan on July 3rd. I said probably yes, but I was nervous about my head. I'm not quite sure what happened after that, because next thing I knew it was Friday night and no word from Neighbor Guy, so I ended up at my downstairs neighbors' barbecue hanging out with her entertaining, hard-partying, and mostly jock-lesbian posse. Then I called my other neighbors (the ones with the brother I shtupped) to see if they'd want to go down to the beach at the end of the block to try to catch some fireworks, since I kind of thought I'd be seeing fireworks that night from a friggin' boat on the friggin' lake. The one who isn't the brother of my shtuppee took me up on the offer and we had a very nice time. No shtupping. We did manage to run into Neighbor Guy at the bar, though, so I guessed I wasn't the only one who wasn't on a boat.

I was feeling well enough again on Saturday to play Hostess/Housewife and invited my cousinses, Neighbor Guy, and my Fireworks Friend to dinner. I cleaned all day until my house was sufficiently perfectish (unbelievably perfect if you know me) and my cousinses thought they were coming around 7 but then they were coming around 8 and then they showed up at 8:30. Neighbor Guy kept saying things about some other barbecue he was supposed to go to but since I cooked he really wanted to come over for at least a little bit so he'd stop by blah blah blah. At 7:45 he called and asked if he could bring his roommate with him, too. I asked how many people? He said just him and one of his new roommates (two Slovakian girls in the US for the summe, who moved in last week after answering his ad on Craigslist), so I figured since I never heard from Fireworks Friend I had plenty of food. At 8 I opened the door to Neighbor Guy, his roomamte, and "Chris." "Chris" was some random guy they'd met earlier at the bar or something. I have no idea. Neighbor Guy does that sort of thing all the time. He meets people he finds interesting or boys he thinks are cute (who usually turn out to be straight or in stable, committed relationships) and just brings them places assuming it's ok. But that's sort of how he lives his life. He reminds me a lot of Dory from Finding Nemo, and everbody loves Dory, right? He's a great friend for me to have around, even if I do find some of his human fascinations terribly annoying. Some of them are great, and I'm one of his human fascinations, too.

Turns out the wedding wasn't July 3rd, it was July 5th. Today. Neighbor Guy (co-worker of the bride) also thought it was in the evening until he called me and woke me up at 9:30 AM to say the boat left at noon. He'd mentioned on Saturday that he wanted me to bring my digital camera. Well, when we go to check in at the boat, I find out that we're the photographers. Really, They didn't hire professionals. A few other people brought digital cameras, too, but Neighbor Guy had offered to take photos and somehow (it being Neighbor Guy, there's a million possibilities for how) we were now their primary source for photographic wedding memories. After Neighbor Guy took a few awkward, timid pictures with my camera, I asked if he wanted me to do the actual picture taking. Yes! Oh, he was so relieved!

I feel bad for the couple, since my camera and photography skills aren't great and who knows what the bride's expectations were based on whatever conversations she may have had with Neighbor Guy. So I took pictures of everything from every angle to make sure there'd be enough good ones in the end. I'm about 2/3 of the way through half-assed editing the 300+ pictures from the day.

Dory the fish. I'm always trying to be less like Marlin, anyway.

I need to sleep now. Pity, I didn't make it to talking about the (possible) little love triangle in which I'm getting one of the good corners.

Goodnight.