I'm sick. I went to the doctor yesterday and they don't actually know what's wrong with me, but if I'm not better in the next few hours I have to go to the ER and have them pump me full of fluids.

It started last Monday when I woke up with diarrhea and was so dizzy and light-headed I barely could make it to the bathroom. I thought I had food poisoning as the night before I'd eaten at an Indian restaurant with my family and the stomach explosion came on so suddenly, but when I called my parents' house to see how everyone else was doing, they were fine. Tuesday my stomach was back to normal but I was still unbarably woozy and made it out of bed only to eat and walk the dog. But by Tuesday night I felt much better and Wednesday morning I woke up 90% fine.

Friday night I went to Chicago Dance Crash's "KTF" with Aural Girl and Dziwka (her roommate and my other good friend). I'd eaten all of one bowl of Greek yogurt with blueberries for dinner and then AG and I polished off a bottle of wine together, which was stupid of me because the next day was my parents' combined 60th birthdays/35th wedding anniversary party. I woke up feeling terrible. Not that I can't normally handle half a bottle of wine, but I knew better and it wasn't worth risking a migraine. Well, I didn't have a migraine, but I felt like absolute death. I was too woozy and dizzy to move and I actually threw up for the first time in recent memory. I chugged water all morning until I was physically capable of showering and getting in the car, and then AG drove me to my parents' house (with a necessary Sprite stop along the way) where she was tremendously helpful while I tried to do more than stare blankly at walls as we set up for a 30+ person catered event. If I'm feeling up to it later, I'll write about the party and my sibblings and their significant others, but right now I'm staying on the topic of my current "affliction." Anyway, I felt better and better as the evening wore on and I managed to eat some of the fabulous food and shmooze with my parents' friends. By Sunday I was back to normal.

Tuesday I woke up with diarrhea and the light-headed woozy dizzy crap all over again. I saw sparkles everywhere. I ate saltines and drank ginger ale and slept all morning. My stomach felt better but the sparkles and the light-headded woozy dizzy wouldn't go away, so I called my internist. She was out of the office until Monday, so I made the appointment with one of her collegues.

At the doctor, my blood pressure was 80/58. She thought that my light-headedness was due to the diarrhea and low blood pressure. She told me to eat more salt and drink more fluids and keep a food journal (which I have to start this morning) and if I don't get better by today I have to go to the ER for them to pump me full of fluids. I really don't want to go to the ER, but at this rate I'm headed there instead of knitting this afternoon. Fuck.

A number of weeks ago I fainted. I only blacked out for a second I think, but I fainted. I was sitting at the computer for a long time, stood up too fast and stretched. All the blood rushed to my head and I thought "Oh, shit" as I grabbed the chair and fell to the floor. Then a few weeks later, it happened again the exact same way.

My limbs go numb a lot when I use the computer. They tingle and die and I have to whack the feeling back into them. It's annoying. Two weeks ago my right arm stayed numb for hours.

I only mention the fainting and the numbness because they might be related. They might not, but it doesn't hurt to mention them.

I really want to go to knitting this afternoon.

Late Night Laundry List

It's 11:38 PM and I have to fold laundry. I didn't do my laundry until now because I am a failure as a human being. I did some good things today, though: found out lots of good information about school, exercised, worked a little on my business crap, went to Costco and spent $200 on contacts, groceries, and things for the upcoming party my siblings and I are throwing my parents, went to dinner at Aural Girl's house, went to the bar but didn't drink because I'm trying to lose weight. And then it was late and I realized I had no clean sports bras and no clean regular bras and not much in the way of choice of what to wear in general for tomorrow. One load of laundry later and I now have to hang things as time pushes midnight. I'm very ready to be in bed.

Day One

I'm going back to school at the end of September. I got accepted Friday. I am excited and terrified. My writing and general academic muscles have completely atrophied, so I'm going to try to write something and read something every day until I start classes. This is Day One. I don't really feel like writing but putting down words and declaring that I will write seem like important steps. This is a start. Perhaps tomorrow I will start catching up on the last nine months of my life and how I got to a point where I could even think about going back to school. Perhaps tomorrow.