NOW where's the fire?

This is getting silly. It's 2 AM and I couldn't sleep and there was noise in the halls of my apartment and there's never noise in the halls of my apartment. I got up and saw three firetrucks parked outside through the window, so I decided to put on a bathrobe and shoes and investigate. My lobby had six of seven firemen standing around (I so should have gone down in a negligee and stilettos), and the one who spoke to me was all grumpy and old and had a mustache and said someone was cooking upstairs and burnt something. Where were they earlier when I was busy setting my apartment on fire? And why don't I own a negligee? I need to work on that.

like burning

I'm interviewing Important Family Guy Person on Monday for my freelance class. He's being great about it, and the interview itself should not be hard. Thing that is hard: rigging my tape recorder to record a conversation on my cell phone. The thing that connects the recorder to the phone was $25 and only available at Radio Shack, and now it turns out I need another piece to connect it to my phone because my phone doesn't have a normal headset plug thing. That's another $20. I feel like if I had basic magical powers, none of this would be a problem. I would also like very much to be able to instantly teleport places, because my hour commute to school is getting annoying, even if I'm only doing it three days a week.
Other reasons to teleport:

• trying to find a "good" shoe store for NBF today and driving all over creation looking for one
• friends living in other time zones

A few weeks ago in my wellness class my teacher brought in this thing to measure our body fat percentages so we could calculate our body's needed caloric intake. I'm 30% body fat. That's the cutoff between average and overweight. Fuck. I'm fat. I'm still trying to get my mom's old Nordic Track up and running, since one of the pins doesn't fit where I need it to go so the cushiony things aren't up too high, and when I used it anyway, it tried to kill me by sending my flying. I also bought a scale that measures my body fat and hydration levels for under $9 at Target. I think the price was a mistake, since it was the only one of its kind and the models with fewer features cost more and the comparable scales were in the $25-$45 range. I win. Now I can obsess about my weight fat percentage at home! I'm 109 lbs. I don't want to go back to my scary 90 lb days, but something a bit healthier would be nice. Particularly if I can keep my boobs. Hear that, body? Less fat, same boobs. Deal.

Ooh, why is there a firetruck outside my apartment? Yoohoo! Firemen!
I'm starting the Firemen Appreciation Society. We will wear white flowing chemises and robes and hang out windows until firemen "rescue" us, and then we will "appreciate" them. Who's with me?