Freaky-deaky-dog

Things that freak out my dog:

1. People who aren't me
2. Dogs who aren't him
3. Noises that make him think that either of these will infiltrate his space
4. Life
5. The universe
6. Everything else

Those of you who know my dog know that I am not exaggerating. But I love him ever so much, so he is on my lap shaking while I try to finish writing things for class tonight. My fiction story lacks a story and sounds like the same mediocre drivel everyone writes. I'd set it on fire, but I'm better off turning it in.

Now how am I supposed to negotiate going to the bathroom with Clingdog stapled to my lap? Where's my staple remover?