Sads

I've got The Sads and I don't know why. Is it the medication? Is it whatever was before all the fun with the medication just catching up with me again? I don't know. But I'm crying and deep-down sad and I've been hiding out at NBF's since Saturday and just went home tonight even though I really didn't want to. I just want to hide there forever. Curl up into a little ball and not deal with anything. Not be alone. I'm having trouble writing and I can't concentrate on anything still and I don't feel like doing much of anything, so staying there and watching movies and reading and eating and playing with dogs was perfect. Sometimes when I'm in depression mode I want to be alone. Right now, I want to be not alone, but not in public either. This is when I used to show up in Birdie and Sunny's room/house in college. My parents are the last people on earth I want to see. I want my super-close friends and to cry a lot and for the hurt to stop being hurty. Why am I all hurty?