My insides are fizzing

What's wrong  what's wrong  what's wrong?
I'm trying to write it. I can't seem to write it.
I feel like crap.
I'm spending another day here because I chose to spend another day here because I decided HDS's need to have another day at home was more important than me having one more day of this.
Lots of  pep talks and rallying cries. The bad I'm feeling isn't so bad, it's just knowing it gets worse before it  gets better that makes me want to smash my head through a plate glass window. I'm going through Prozac withdrawal. And the weather is migraine hellacious. And I'm already down to my last shot which I have  to  save  for the drive home. I'm tired but anxious so I'm  not sleeping well and I want answers that apparently don't exist on weekends.

Monday I will get home, get dog, do laundry, and pack for my extended hospital stay. Monday hopefully I will get all  of  my questions answered while I'm on the road. I'm  particularly frustrated that some papers I meant to bring are at my house and make it much harder if not impossible to get everything (charts and doctors and such) up to date and  finalized while we're on the road.

I do things at the last minute, or at least wait until I feel the pressure of the deadline. I think this makes me a  procrastinator and procrastinators are bad people.

I'm  mad at myself for deciding to stay in Nashville until Monday. I did it for the wrong reasons and I am mad at myself for being mad at myself  instead of just accepting that I made a decision. Let it go. I can't let anything go  lately. I'm gooey.

Writing isn't  supposed to  make  me worse. I'm feeling worse. More  agitated. Where's the fucking  Lorazepam?  I need sleep and I'm too fucking bonkers. I've taken more Lorazepam this month than I have in the past year. It's still less than some people take in a few days, but it's a lot for me.