pain knit pain pain pain

Stupid fucking inescapable pain! I just can't distract myself from it or do anything else or make any decisions right now. I want to do something else. I want to knit. Let's knit. But I finished the Priority #1 project (my cousin's Chranukah present fingerless mittens) and now I wanted to work on a dog sweater but I don't see my dog sweater book and I looked for it and I can't find it and it hurts to think any harder about where I last had the book and I just want to do something to distract myself from the pain and decision-making is not helping and it hurts a lot in my head so book must magically appear or I will have to just start making another pair of fingerless mittens for no one in particular because they are easy and I don't have to think and think=hurt and hurt=bad and I was supposed to call my neurologist again today but I was asleep and I don't know when he'll be open next week thanks to stupid Jesus (never too dead to insult religion) and I really want to drill a hole in my skull right now except it would have to be a quiet drill because loud drill would be bad.