FIRE

I just came remarkably close to setting my apartment on fire.

It's the first night of Chanukah and I couldn't find my menorah, so I grabbed an empty styrofoam egg carton, flipped it upsidedown, and stabbed the candles into it. I thought this was brilliant. I put it in the window and decided I'd stay in the room while it was going just in case, but I was pretty sure I'd seen this done before.
I opened up one of my Chanukah presents: my new exciting digital camera! So immediately I grabbed this purse I made and listed on Etsy and started to take better pictures of it. With no great background in the living room, I went wandering around my apartment looking for a good spot to photograph it. I ended up in my front hall, right outside my living room, playing with the camera settings as I took multiple pictures of the purse hanging from the very attractive doorknob of my big-ass closet. Then I headed back into the living room.
FIRE!
On the window sill! Where the egg carton had been! Now it was just fire! I ran over and managed to blow it out (it was still small enough that a few good blows did it). The room had filled with smoke. I opened all three windows. In the far corner from the window, the smoke was particularly black and vile-looking. The whole room has been covered in a speckling of ash (clearest on the white paper in my printer and on my white couch, which just looks dirty in a strange speckled way). There is a puddle of black bubbly evil melted to my window sill. The whole room smells toxic. It is very cold, but I don't want to close the windows until I'm sure the Evil is gone. I locked my dog in the bedroom and moved the turtle to the bathroom.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.