You, Topia

I just cleaned the living bajeezus out of my kitchen. My fingers are all pruney. I still need to mop the floors and finally put away all the dishes and shit thats been living in boxes in the dining room since I moved in (AKA stuff I won't need unless I throw a dinner party), but then I can put up a large "Suck It" sign when my parents pick me up tomorrow.

I have a new guess at a possible migraine trigger: the turtle. It seems totally random, but it showed up right when this batch of migraines did, and it's right by my computer, so maybe something in the woodchips? And thinking back to when I had the really awful bout in Oberlin and Cleveland, that's when I had my turtle. Maybe it's a coincidence, but it's worth taking the turtle back to my parents' house at least and seeing if the head gets better. How weird would that be?

Ever step back and wonder why basic food, shelter, and medical coverage aren't provided by the State? Of course upgrades should be available for purchase, but why the hell don't we make sure our most basic needs are met? We're just so primative in certain ways, it's amazing.

FIRE

I just came remarkably close to setting my apartment on fire.

It's the first night of Chanukah and I couldn't find my menorah, so I grabbed an empty styrofoam egg carton, flipped it upsidedown, and stabbed the candles into it. I thought this was brilliant. I put it in the window and decided I'd stay in the room while it was going just in case, but I was pretty sure I'd seen this done before.
I opened up one of my Chanukah presents: my new exciting digital camera! So immediately I grabbed this purse I made and listed on Etsy and started to take better pictures of it. With no great background in the living room, I went wandering around my apartment looking for a good spot to photograph it. I ended up in my front hall, right outside my living room, playing with the camera settings as I took multiple pictures of the purse hanging from the very attractive doorknob of my big-ass closet. Then I headed back into the living room.
FIRE!
On the window sill! Where the egg carton had been! Now it was just fire! I ran over and managed to blow it out (it was still small enough that a few good blows did it). The room had filled with smoke. I opened all three windows. In the far corner from the window, the smoke was particularly black and vile-looking. The whole room has been covered in a speckling of ash (clearest on the white paper in my printer and on my white couch, which just looks dirty in a strange speckled way). There is a puddle of black bubbly evil melted to my window sill. The whole room smells toxic. It is very cold, but I don't want to close the windows until I'm sure the Evil is gone. I locked my dog in the bedroom and moved the turtle to the bathroom.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

Like the Jackson 5 without any Jacksons

It's a party in my apartment. NBF is here playing his stupid nerdy online dork game because his internet at home is still down from yesterday's storm. Add to that me playing Chicken Invaders, NBF's dog snarfing at the turtle, and my dog snarfing at NBF's dog, and all you need are a disco ball and spiked punch.

My brain is misbehaving again as usual.

Party Animals

There is a turtle in my bathtub. I put him there. He is my brother's, but my brother left for college and never really cared for the turtle in the first place, and my mother hates animals. The turtle's terrarium thing (big aquarium with wood chip bedding and two plastic bowls that are supposed to look like they're made out of rocks) is still in my car, because five minutes after I drove away from my parents' house with the aforementioned turtle, it started storming. Then the tornado sirens went, and the radio news kept saying for people in areas moving ever closer to me should all abandon their cars and get into basements. Two seconds later black clouds swallowed everything and branches flew past and rain came down in sheets. I kept looking at the businesses along North Avenue for reasonable shelter and to the sky to see if it turned orange or green (it usually turns weird colors before an actual tornado touches down). Between the wet and the fact I was a little white girl with turtle in tow in the shittier parts of Chicago's west side, I decided not to stop unless the sky turned, and it didn't. Now, I am in my apartment and refusing to leave until the weather clears and my dog is freaking out (as per usual...he had a particularly rough night last night with the thunder) and the turtle is in my bathtub, hiding under his wood thing. It's a party.