personal inventory

• I'm not good at juggling many friends. A few friends are good, but I can only handle regular contact with a couple of people at any given time.
• I try to scare people off before they get to know me because I am absolutely terrified to lose existing friends to my rampant personality flaws.
• Plenty of people who turn out Ordinary feel they are destined for Great Things. I do not want to turn out ordinary. I have all this creativity and compulsion to write and be creative, but I can't find my direction right now so I end up playing WebSudoku instead of producing beautiful things that will make me rise to greatness. I wish I could be satisfied with Ordinary. I vividly remember the moment when I first realized I wasn't going to grow up to be a Princess and was far more likely to turn into just another person like my parents. I was seven. It was awful
• I think many of my Issues stem from my having developed intellectually before I was emotionally ready to cope with Reality. I was very aware of the darker side of humanity at a tender age, but my cushy life* prevented me from forming the callused strength normally associated with the Old-Before-Her-Time child.
• Being super-cynical yet super-sensitive very much defines me as a person.
• I need to put myself to use already. Can this school thing please start now? I'm getting restless.

*which, for the record, I'm not complaining about.