AAAAAHHHHH! Wake up wake up wake up!!!!!

Yesterday I slept and slept and slept.

Today I had an ohsomuchsleep! hangover and ate puffed rice and apple sauce and read The New Yorker and then played stupid games on my cell phone for some insane amount of time. And now it's 3 PM and I haven't showered or done anything and there's stuff to do but there's nothing to do so I'm eating Fritos (only three ingredients! corn, corn oil and salt!) and pea pods and drinking orange juice and trying to pull myself together a bit by writing all this down. Clarity. Need clarity. Writing brings clarity because it forces all the bazillions of fuzzes of thought to choose one loudest string to write down. Pick a single path, a single narration.

This is the sort of thing that belongs more in my handwritten journal, not so much my published blog, but I need to type it and I can think of a few very specific people who find this amusing, so everyone else can just ignore this post as part of the great "why do I give a fuck?" garbage of the internet.

[Side note: I love that my dog loves pea pods. They're so much better for him than, say, his butt.]

My general life to-do list is pretty fuzzy, since everything has to be optional on the days I can't do anything. I have things to do on the days I'm feeling go-gettum-y, but on blah days when I can but I lack momentum, I need more direction. I need a real list and priorities and whatnot, not with the type of urgency that makes me crazy and guilty when I can't accomplish anything, but with enough forward motion and upside* that I want to do it when I can.

I really have managed to re-teach myself how to think about huge quantities of life. The migraines have been a serious forced and necessary paradigm shift and (a path towards enlightenment)**.

[Distraction! Went to check email and discovered person I know through my crafting stuff has been missing since last night. Hopefully she's fine and people are just being alarmist...maybe she's eloping? That would be fun and not bad. Try and think the best instead of the worst.]

Dog won't stop whining because he wants to go out. I won't take him out until I shower. I need to shower. Priority #1. Then I can go back to writing and listing and sorting out the universe and not being able to do anything about missing persons and trying to convince myself to do something about things I cando.


*wrong word, but I can't find the right word in my head at the moment...positivity...optimism...no no no...stupid wordfind...

**again, wrong phrase, but it's as close as I'm getting right now to the right one