Citations: Part the Second

No, I am not dead. It was a very busy week and I was too exhausted to write. So there.


The Fashion Police promo 85% sucked. The 15% that didn't suck was a few of the people doing it with me and the fact that I will get almost $600 for it. People who did suck and bad organization and planning accounted for most of the 85% suckage.

Apparently, the people who organized the promo were not from Chicago, so they hired others to scout out locations for us to hit. However, those locations were almost entirely outside and/or required permits for us to advertise and distribute material. This is Chicago in September. The weather is completely unpredictable. Tuesday and Wednesday it was cold and rained on and off all day. We were supposed to be outside in the north loop (State and Lake-ish, by what used to be Marshal Fields) from around 1-7 PM. Instead we sat around the hotel conference room and killed time until around 3, when it less rainy, and wandered out with our umbrellas.
The whole idea for this promotion was that we would stop women and "engage them in conversation about Marshalls." We had a basic script to follow:

Excuse me, ma'am. (CHOOSE ONE)
Those are great shoes!/pants
That is a fabulous jacket/blouse/hat/handbag.
That is a gorgeous suit/dress/jacket.

You look good, but you may have paid too much for (ITEM FROM ABOVE)
I'm from Marshalls FASHION police, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you a citation for paying too much for (ITEM FROM ABOVE).
(GIVES CITATION)
Read the citation carefully to see how you could win one of thousands of prizes!
You have a nice day and remember Marshalls Law, It's not a crime to get great fashion for a steal.

There were other "key messages" to be "worked in during longer interactions," too. But we were supposed to hand out 400 citations in the rain around rush hour mostly by El stops. We were lucky if they heard the entire phrase "Marshalls Fashion Police!" I started yelling random key phrases like "Stop paying too much for fashion! Marshalls Fashion Police! Win up to $1000! Name brands, 40-60% off every day!" and trying to hand "citations" to every woman who walked past. Fortunately people were mostly nice about it and took them, even if just out of pity. We got back to the hotel around 6 moments before it started pouring.

Wednesday we were scheduled to work by the Union Square Commuter Rails. Not a bad idea had it been a) not raining and b) rush hour. But we were only supposed to be there from 10-3 and there was nowhere indoors we'd be allowed to go, so after three hours of sitting around and watching tv, they drove us over to Water Tower. Many of the other girls had tried doing promos inside and in front of Water Tower before, but the shopping center is extremely strict about keeping promos and beggars away. We tried a few different corners around the Magnificent Mile, but most Mag Mile shoppers are there with the intention of paying too much for things, and even they were few and far between in the middle of a rainy Wednesday. When it got too cold and wet and we got sick of standing around doing nothing, our manager had us go into one of the malls to warm up and relax. Back to sitting around doing nothing. We'd go back out for maybe 20 minutes before it got too gross and we'd go back in.

I talked more with the girl who'd just moved from LA. She's good people. There was the Uggo whose abuse father moved out in the last few years. I think she may have been "Uggo" more because she was awkward and the only female in the promotion not wearing makeup. It's odd, I'm not that devoted to makeup myself, but I feel like when the entire point of them hiring you is for you to look pretty and give people things, then you should probably do your best to look pretty, shallow as that may be. Most of the girls were nice and friendly, at least on a superficial level. Many of them still lived with their parents. One just graduated from Stanford, one from Howard. The rest were from state or community colleges. Three were named Jessica. One had been whining and complaining about everything since the first moment of the first day. I tried to be as positive and optimistic as possible just to balance her out a bit.
It turns out the writer/improver is in the show immediately before the one my improv class buddies go to every week at the IO, so I called SUC to see if he could go early with me to see her. She said she'd try to reserve us a table.

I got home and passed out.

More later.