documentation to stave off surrender

5 AM, headache woke me up with a new stabbing behind the eyes and eyebrows strength. Was it something I ate? My mom took me to the grocery store (she was very well-behaved...either I underestimate her or I was snippy and direct enough that it shut her up or maybe some combination of the two) and I ate a few pieces of fried chicken, a fistful of KitKats (thinking the chocolate might be a good quantity of caffeine to take the edge off without rebounding me or making me as jittery as the coffee had), and washed it down with an organic blood organic blood orange Italian soda. Was one of these a trigger? Or was it the added stress and noise and light of shopping itself? Or has it been long enough that this pain surge is unrelated> Could it even be the last kickings of the migraine? God I hope so. At an rate, I took three Aleve (I'd stopped those after the first day to make sure they weren't rebounding me) and a half-dose of the Seroquel (which I hate because it makes me all woozy and weird, but maybe a half-dose will be better and actually chop through this thing) and I'm going back to bed. I should have been documenting all of this crap (my food, my pills, my pain levels) since the beginning of this stupid thing, but how was I to know it would go on for so long? Until yesterday, I've assumed every day would most likely be the last. Now it's taking on this endless, remedyless quality and I feel like all I can do is document what I'm doing and keep changing it up and trying and re-trying everything until something works. I've been drinking a ton of water but still thirsty all the time, whatever that means, and I've lost three pounds this week, but this is not the way I want to lose weight, since it is completely unhealthy and scary and uncontrolled. If I'm still too bad to go to school tomorrow, I'll try to get a therapeutic massage appointment at Athletico. Then the DHE should be in at Walgreens, and while that may help a lot short-term, I stopped keeping it in the house because I'd gotten so addicted it became useless. In Cleveland, this would be when I'd go to the hospital clinic and get on an IV of the DHE, but dammit, I thought I'd left Cleveland in Cleveland. I haven't been this bad since. No easy answers. No silver bullets. Maybe the study will chop me open and fix things, but there have been so many "have you tried?"s and "maybe this will"s that I've finally learned, the medicine is still too far behind the cure, so I'm stuck depending on my generation's equivalent to Castor oil and witch hazel. Maybe if the DHE and massage don't help, I'll start sleeping with garlic around my neck.