yes, still

I'm at serious diminished capacity. I started to fix my slow internet and generally clogged computer stuff, but this time I stopped myself. If my brain isn't working right, I screw things up. This is how I messed up my finances. I get major points for recognizing the feeling and not doing things that might explode. It's like handing off the car keys when you know you've had too much to drink. Trouble is, with neurological fuckedupness, there's no measure. I can't count empty bottles or shot glasses. There's no breathalizer. I do things all the time to check my cognitive abilities, like puzzles and touching my fingers and thumbs together in patterns. I also watch how much my hands shake. Right now it's a lot, but I still don't know what that means. I write because I want a record of my thoughts. I don't want to lose them. Apparenly, hypergraphia is tied to migraine and siezure sufferers, Dostoevsky being one of its heroes. Makes perfect sense to me.