coffee and tequila

Just saw this and now I want to smoke:
Saturday I had my acting improv class. It was a lot of fun. I get into adrenalin mode and have a very hard time shutting up. They encourage letting our ids take over our egos, but my id is really obnoxious and often needs to be punched.
I had another one of my weird idiot moments about race. We had a sub teaching the class who was introducing herself and mentioned she mostly does the minority outreach programs, at which point I had the very conscious thought, "Hey, look at that, she's black." When people are educated and/or well-spoken and/or well-dressed, I tend not to notice color. I'm not sure if that's more or less racist, but it's honest and a strange thought process either way.
We spent a long time playing the game again where the person in the middle says a trait and everyone with that trait has to get up and switch seats, the person in the middle tries to take a seat, and whoever is left without a chair goes in the middle and says the next trait. Last time, I was the only person to get up on "own kinky underwear" and was quite embarrassed. This week, the best moment came when the middle person called out "If you've had sex in the last week" and of all 10 adults in the room, ages (I'm estimating here) 19 to 40-something, not one stood up. We're a sexless bunch. Also interesting to note was when we played that game where you have to close your eyes and, as a group, get through the alphabet one letter at a time without two people saying the same letter simultaneously or you go back to A. We couldn't do it the normal way by listening and feeling, so we eventually did it by going more or less around the circle in order. We found the cerebral solution to the touchy-feely game. Maybe that's why none of us are having sex. Should make for an interesting class.
I'd been ranting and bitching about the how and why I lost my jobs and one of the guys asked if I wanted to go for coffee after class. "Coffee" is one of those terribly loaded words, because sometimes it really means just being friendly and casual and sitting around drinking coffee, but sometimes it's intended as a date-that-isn't-really-a-date. I said I was meeting my friend for margaritas, which was true, just not for several hours.
"But Annabell! Why would you turn down coffee?! Even if you're not really interested in this boy, would it hurt to make a friend? He's clearly trying to be nice!" you say?
Here's the thing: he has some sort of palsy, and I'm not sure if that just makes him look older or if he actually is significantly older, but he appears mid to late 40s-ish. I can't actually tell if the palsy itself was a strike against him, but honestly in the end it's irrelevant because he is, at least after a few conversations, boring. Nice, but in that one-dimensional only-attribute sort of way. He never did or said anything of interest in class. Talking to him on break was like pulling teeth--like a bad interview with short, flat answers.
I will now share my additional thoughts on the subject which I know are sending me right to hell, but I'm Jewish, so I was downward-bound to begin with:
I've always loved the Beauty and the Beast stories. Phantom of the Opera, Shrek, Tarzan, Disney's and Jean Cocteau's versions. But they always portray the beast as a complex character, bitter and scorned by society. As Shrek would say, Ogres are like onions because they both have layers. Then into my reality wanders a beast (honestly, he's not that beastly, but I'm making a point here) but without the layers. There's just the ugly outer shell with room-temperature vanilla pudding on the inside. Perfectly nice, but boring as hell. Not the sort of person I want to spend significant amounts of one-on-one time with. I hate feeling obligated to carry on conversation, and that's how this guy makes me feel. I feel guilty because he is a nice guy and it's always flattering to be asked to coffee, whatever the motive, but I guess it would be worse if I went to coffee out of guilt and obligation. No one needs that.

What I did need came just a few hours later when I met "E" (my former co-teacher who has been absolutely awesome through this whole ordeal) for margaritas. There's a place near my apartment that she knew about with $9 margaritas as big as your head. We both got mango and they were wonderful. Pleasantly inebriated by 10 PM we wandered back to my apartment and talked and bitched for hours. Because my dog isn't exactly good with strangers (or anyone other than me, for that matter) and my apartment is still terrifyingly gross and unfriendly, we sat on the steps outside my door. It was most excellent. When we were working together 4 days a week it was hard to count her as a "friend," but now that we're both without employment (she's going to grad school in the fall so she ended her job with the school year) I can actually say I have a friend who is a girl who I can actually hang out with. Amazing! We're even going to the aquarium tomorrow. I'm a member, so I don't have to worry about spending money I'm not making.

Being unemployed isn't supposed to be this much fun. Nor will it be once my funds dry up and I'm desperately searching for a job or back under the complete financial thumb of my parents as a full-time student. But until then, partypartyparty.