acupunctuation

Yesterday, I had my acu punctured. I left feeling pretty good (although still with the pain hanging out behind my left eye) and felt like crap again by the time I got home.
The experience itself was very strange. When I arrived they offered me tea while I filled out their version of a medical history form. I chose a peppermint herbal (I think they were all herbal) and answered the standard doctor questions about my immediate family's medical history (did/does anyone have diabetes? hear disease? cancer?) plus some new ones (gout? insanity?) and some extremely personal questions about my bodily functions (how many days do your periods last? is the blood ever brown? dark purple? clumpy?)
My acupuncturist was this small (well, bigger than me, but small by normal standards) Chinese woman who was like a dense tight ball of energy on fast-forward. Her English wasn't great, but she explained to me that I have both an overall deficiency in qi but an overabundance of qi in some areas, and most of my problem areas are linked to my gall bladder. I need to eat a pound and a half of fruits and vegetables (she didn't specify how often and I didn't ask because odds are good I can maybe up my veggie intake to a pound and a half a month) and avoid spicy foods because my central energy fire is too hot and rising up and that's why I have all the pain in my neck and head. Right. I don't know about the whole energy fire thing, but it doesn't hurt to avoid spicy foods and see if that helps, since that's one thing I haven't tried diet-wise.*
As I've mentioned before, I hate needles. Hate hate hate. And it's not the pain, since a needle bothers me as much in someone else's skin as it does my own. It's the cutting of skin thing that generally wigs me out. But the acupuncturist didn't put any needles in my head ("not for first time, next time") and my glasses were off so I couldn't see it, and she also said "breathe in, breathe out" every time she poked me. The strangest part of the whole experience was when some of the needles hit, it felt like things were moving around in other parts of my body. A needle on my calf (I think it was my calf) had something crawling up the left side of my spine. And the one needle that hurt the most (the others were a pinch at the worst) had my migraine pain, which was at that point hanging out in a lump at the bottom of the back of my head, unmistakably float up to the top of my head, like it had been filled with helium. Unfortunately, it stayed at the top of my head instead of going the fuck away. My acupuncturist said that, for a life-long problem, it will take more than one session of acupuncture to fully realign my qi.
She also did "cupping," which is completely bizarre but actually feels good. Basically, she stuck a bunch of 2" diameter glass suction cup things on my back.
I left feeling better than I had in weeks (save my stoned hours), but still with the pain. So, (sorry E) $40, I now have more pot. I really don't enjoy the inhaling smoke part, but it makes the pain more bearable. I woke up this morning wondering if I could even make it to class, but by 10:30 AM I was back to walloped, and now I've got the damn vibrating neck thing back on and the lights back off and I'm bored and sick of sleeping through my life but it fucking hurts. And the last few days the pain has been more and more light-sensitive and behind my left eye. Maybe I'll start wearing an eyepatch. I'll dress like a pirate while I'm at it, just for kicks. I could use some kicks. In the head.

*I am much better at eliminating things I shouldn't do than adding things I should. Maybe my willpower-qi is lopsided, too.