I am the only person in the universe who knows the right answer and perfect method for everything

Brunch at my parents' house this morning so we could see my ex-uncle's brother's family. My father was in "I will do everything myself and it will be perfect" mode (the factory setting he's been stuck in since birth, I think). His sister's family expects it and lives to a similar standard, but not this branch of demi-family. They live in Cleveland, for God's sake.

I've been doing much better lately seeing my family in smaller doses and being grateful for their positives and the fact they don't beat me. But it seems I can only take so much before it starts translating into physical pain, even with all the changes in diet and lurking off to the bathroom to give myself booster shots of morphine-grade pain killer.

Ultimately, I don't want to lead the sort of life they lead or consider optimal for a person to lead, but I still have the biological urge for my parents to be proud of me. I guess my house will always have to be cleanest when I invite over the family, and sooner or later I'll learn that I can still have friends if my outfits and my plates don't all match.